


My Guilty Conscience

by CarnivalMirai



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Dark, Dark Katsuki Yuuri, Dark Victor Nikiforov, Detective Katsuki Yuuri, Detective Victor Nikiforov, Falling In Love, Insomnia, Love Confessions, M/M, Memory Loss, Modus Operandi, Murder, Mutual Pining, Pathetic fallacy, Personality Disorder, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Serial Killers, Statues, Tags Contain Spoilers, Yuuri collects encyclopedias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23301472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnivalMirai/pseuds/CarnivalMirai
Summary: “Come on, come on, come on!” Yuuri cried, almost dropping his phone as he tried to unlock it. Yuuri let out a quivering sigh of relief as he pulled up his contact to phone the only person he could trust-- Victor.He hesitated, however. Victor had seemed so distant recently and Yuuri, for the life of him, could not figure out why. Maybe it was something he'd done or said but every time he asked, Victor just dismissed him. It was soul crushing. But Yuuri had no one else to turn to. Without giving himself another second to doubt, Yuuri phoned.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 33
Kudos: 185





	My Guilty Conscience

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This idea came to my head a while back and I found the courage to write it! So I scrambled to write it before I could talk myself out of it. This was written for my lovely Patr-- (can't use that word RIP) but if you'd like to support me, head to my twitter, linked below!
> 
> It's a serial killer AU, so I know it's not everyone's thing, but it is like... 12k worth of... word vomit, haha 😅😅😅 I'm not really sure what to say about this oneshot really, uhh... please be kind to me lol I'm not thrilled with the outcome. I thought there was... too much dialogue, not enough description, there's a couple of plot holes, things like that. I'm generally pretty pleased with the idea but I wish I executed it better 😭😭😭 It's just not quite what I envisioned 😩😩😩
> 
> I've never written anything like this before, it was so difficult to portray what I wanted to. This is far from what I imagined, I just feel like I overused words or didn't use enough words to build the atmosphere but it's so difficult when the English language only has so many words lol. I still hope you enjoy this hot mess! One day, I might revisit it. 
> 
> I feel like it's a bit rushed because I didn't want this to become something I... turn into a series or something, lol. I also had a latin name for this at first, but I figured maybe the English name sounded better, so I stuck to that.
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter please leave me a comment, it would mean the world to me 😩💖
> 
> You can also find me on [Twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/MiraiMagical) where I post teasers and announcements!

The thunder was particularly fierce this morning as Victor and Yuuri arrived at their first call of the morning. Yuuri huffed, breath condensing into a soft cloud as he got out of the car. He shivered, the cold rain hitting his face, landing on his glasses. It was pouring it down with rain, droplets of water pitter-pattering to the ground, soaking both detectives to the bone. “Are you cold?” Asked Victor as he locked the car door and came around to Yuuri.

“Only a little.” Yuuri smiled softly. “I’ll be alright for now, we won't be out here long.” Victor was having none of that. He removed his trench coat, draping it over Yuuri’s shoulders. 

“I told you to bring a coat. You’ll catch a cold if you’re not careful.” He chuckled, leading Yuuri under the crime scene tape. 

“What about you?” Asked Yuuri as he slid his body into the oversized coat, smiling softly as his nose brushed the lapel, Victor’s scent filling his nose as his hands slid into the pockets. 

“Russian blood.” Winked Victor. “Let’s see what we got.” 

“You made it.” Phichit said as he stood up from the body. “Slashed across the stomach, CSI reckons the killer is using the same knife for each victim, likely a kitchen knife. A small one, but a kitchen knife. The wound has also been cleaned, but it’s bled out again, and the body is arranged in another…  _ weird  _ pose.” True to his word, the body was, indeed, posed rather strangely. One arm was pulled straight above her head, the other tucked neatly to her side. Her legs were straight, shoes removed and put aside, but perhaps, most bizarrely, was the bouquet of roses she held. 

“Why the obsession with flowers?” Yuuri asked as he picked them up and slid them into an evidence bag. “Every victim so far has held a bouquet of flowers. What do they mean?” 

“Look at her finger.” Phichit chimed in. “She had a ring on her finger, you can see the marks on her finger from where it was.” He pointed out. “Wanna bet our killer took it?” Victor hummed in contemplation. 

“Likely, but we can’t say for sure.” He stood back up. “CSI got all the pictures?”

“I think so.” Yuuri said. “We should get back to the station, figure out what happened to her.” 

“Definitely another victim of our serial killer. What do you think their obsession with weird poses is?” Phichit asked curiously. “Our first victim was laid out in the shape of a cross, then God knows what strange post the second victim was, and now this.” He huffed in frustration. 

“Almost like statues.” Murmured Yuuri. 

“Huh?” 

“Almost like statues!” Yuuri repeated more confidently, as if he’d just had a lightbulb moment. “Come on, let’s get back and look at the other photographs.” Without leaving any room for debate, Yuuri headed back to the car and climbed in. 

“Statues?” Victor asked as he got into the driver’s seat. 

“Yes! The way she was posed, one arm above her head, holding a bouquet, the other neatly by her side… and then the other body, posed with one leg hiked up, face turned and the first one, posed like a crucifix.” Yuuri said. “We have to look at all the photos again.”

“But… why statues?” Victor asked with a heavy huff as he started the car, the windscreen wipers sweeping across the screen to clear the rain. They could hear the thumping of the rain against the windows, against the shell of the car as Victor pulled away from the side of the road. 

“I don’t know.” Sighed Yuuri. “We just have to look over the photos again, maybe we missed something.”

“Well, we officially have a serial killer.” Murmured Victor. “That means we have to call the FBI.” Yuuri grimaced. He always thought they were so… stuck up. Sure, they did their jobs-- and very well-- but did they have to be so stuck up about it?

***

Victor laid out all of the crime scene photographs on the conference table, spreading them all out. His brow creased in concentration as he studied the photographs, trying to see if he’d missed anything. 

“I bought you coffee.” Smiled Yuuri as he came into the conference room with a cup of coffee in each hand. “With cream and two sugars, just how you like it.” Victor gratefully smiled, taking the coffee. 

“You really know me well.” Victor mused. “I phoned the FBI, they’ll be here tomorrow.” He sighed, turning his attention back to the photographs. “So… can you spot anything?” Asked Victor as he sipped at his coffee. Yuuri picked up the photograph of the first victim, and then of the body they saw this morning. 

“I don’t recognise the second one but…” Yuuri put down the photographs and picked up his ipad. “Christ the Redeemer and…” Yuuri tapped at his tablet, pulling the pictures up. “The Statue of Liberty.” 

“They’re completely unrelated.” Frowned Victor with a heavy sigh. Yuuri nodded in agreement. “What about the flowers? They’ve all been roses.”

“I don’t think that's much use though. It’s not like we can trace where they were bought. There’s no way of knowing where those roses came from. For all we know, the killer grows them in their backyard!” 

“Don’t you grow roses in your backyard?” Victor said with a teasing grin. 

_ “Haha.”  _ Deadpanned Yuuri. “As a matter of fact I do.” He huffed. “I have them in pink, red, yellow, white, and orange.” Yuuri said proudly with a matter-of-factly smile. “Though… they don’t seem to be growing well recently… I’ve noticed there aren’t as many flowers as there once was.” He sighed solemnly. 

“Maybe the bush is getting old.” Suggested Victor as he stacked the photographs and slid them back into the relevant folder. 

“Perhaps…” Murmured Yuuri. “It’s been there since I bought the house, so it’s possible. Nevermind. It’s not like I particularly enjoyed gardening anyway. If anything, it was a huge pain in the ass.” Victor chuckled at that. 

“You don’t seem the gardening type.” 

“That would be because I’m not.” Yuuri mused. “I can’t think about this on an empty stomach, and I don’t think you can either.” Yuuri disposed of his coffee cup and put away his iPad. “Wanna get lunch with me?” Victor’s heart thumped in his chest, a smile breaking out across his face. 

“Oh-- yeah, sure. We can get something from the cafe across the street? Lunch on me.” Victor said as he picked up his coat from the rack by the door. 

“Wait-- isn’t it my turn to get lunch?” Yuuri asked, quickly following Victor out of the door. 

“Probably, but you deserve to be treated.” Yuuri’s face tingled as warmth crawled up from his chest and spread across his cheeks, accompanied by the faintest hint of pink. He didn’t protest as his heart throbbed in his chest, a small smile spread across his face. 

“Well. You know I don’t say no to free lunch.” Chuckled Yuuri as he followed Victor into the lift. “It’s on me tomorrow, though.” 

“I’ll hold you to it.”

———————————————————————

_ He followed her through the streets, rain tumbling down, soaking him head to toe. Her pace picked up, feet moving quicker and quicker, water splashing under her feet as she made a quick escape. Not fast enough, however, for as she turned around the corner and down an alleyway, he grabbed her, one arm squeezed over her mouth to muffle her cries of terror. His fingers dug into her face, bound to leave marks as she writhed against him, shrieking at the top of her lungs, legs kicking and kicking in hopes of breaking free.  _

_ “Help me, help me!” She creamed, but her cries went unheard as she squirmed and squirmed, desperate to break free. Tears streamed down her face, heart pounding in her chest, blood rushing through her ears. This was it. She was going to die here, at the hands of the man who had been terrorising the whole city. _

_ Her pleads for help were suddenly silenced by the squelch of a knife in her stomach, the blade dragging through her flesh, blood spurting out of the wound. Her body went limp in his arms as she collapsed to the ground.  _

_ He knelt down beside the body. He removed her clothes, folding them carefully beside the body. With a towel in his hand, he carefully cleaned away the blood spewing from her stomach. He cleaned off her hands, her face, her chest, before grasping her leg to reposition it. He slid the bangle from her wrist, slipping it into his pocket. The final touch was a bouquet of orange roses, placed in her hand. And with that, the killer stood up, admired his work, and then turned and left. _

———————————————————————

Yuuri woke up the next morning to his phone ringing. With a tired groan, he picked up the phone. 

“Detective Katsuki speaking…” 

_ “Morning, sleepy head.”  _ Chuckled Victor. “ _ Duty calls, we got another body.”  _ Yuuri sighed heavily, sitting up and picking his glasses up from the night stand to slide them onto his face.  _ “I’m on my way over to pick you up now.”  _

“Right. See you in a minute.” Yawned Yuuri as he slid out of bed. 

_ “See you in a bit.”  _

Yuuri heavily sighed, putting his phone down on the bedside table. Victor would be here in fifteen minutes, which meant today, he’d be forgoing breakfast. With another irritated groan, Yuuri trudged to the bathroom to start the day. He stared at himself in the mirror, hair a disheveled mess. God, he must have been sweating so much last night - the heating had been going all kinds of crazy lately, but with his job and his lack of free time, Yuuri hadn’t had a chance to get it looked at and fixed. 

He was never a morning person. No matter how early he went to sleep or how many hours he’d slept for, he never failed to wake up feeling like a zombie. Yuuri was just always so lethargic in the morning, maybe he was overworked or not eating enough… but he always ate lunch and dinner at least, and if he was lucky, he’d get breakfast in too, so that couldn’t be the reason. Whatever. Luckily for him, Victor was most definitely a morning person. And that meant he always came bearing coffee. 

Yuuri made haste to brush his teeth and at least sort his hair out. He buttoned his shirt, leaving the top few buttons undone before sliding on a blazer, rolling the sleeves to his elbows-- and just in time for Victor to arrive too. The doorbell rang. Grabbing his phone and keys, Yuuri slid on his shoes and opened the door. 

“Morning.” Victor smiled. “I got coffee waiting for us in the car.” 

“You’re a lifesaver.” Sighed Yuuri as he locked the front door. The rain was relentless, falling from the gloomy sky. Yuuri looked up and sighed, sliding his keys into his pocket. 

“I know. I even left my coat in the car for you.” Victor chuckled, leading him to the car. “We’re heading across the city, about half an hour away so you can take a nap if you want.” 

“Oh thank god.” Yuuri huffed, climbing into the car, grabbing Victor’s coat to drape over his body. “I’m so tired. No matter how much sleep I get I’m still so tired.” He yawned, head leaning against the headrest. “And this morning I woke up damp-- I must have really been sweating. I need to get the heating looked at.” 

“As you are every morning when you come into work.” Teased Victor, handing him his coffee. “Luckily for you you don’t have to drive to work today because you got me.” 

“You sure think highly of yourself.” Laughed Yuuri as he sipped at his coffee. 

“What, and you don’t?” Yuuri snorted. 

“Hmm. Can’t argue with that, I guess.” Yuuri coyly smiled. “Oh, the roses, can’t we send them to the lab and find out the composition of nutrients they’ve been taking up?” Victor hummed in contemplation. 

“It’s worth a try.” Said Victor. “We have nothing to compare it to at all, but it would be another piece of the puzzle. Phone the lab and let them know-- before the roses die.” Yuuru was already on it, phone in hand as he phoned up the crime lab. 

“This is Detective Katsuki, myself and Detective Nikiforov were wondering-- the roses that we’ve found on the victims, is it possible to find out the composition of nutrients they've been taking up? We might be able to find where they’re being sourced?” Asked Yuuri.

_ “We can do that. But it’ll take a long time to find where they’re sourced and who's selling them, if they’re even being sold. It might not turn up anything at all.”  _ Yuuri let out a heavy sigh. 

“Run the test anyway, see what you can find.” 

_ “Got it, we’ll get it done now.”  _

“Thank you.” Yuuri cut the call. 

“What did they say?” 

“They said it'll take a while to find where they came from, and they might not even be able to find the source. But I told them to just run the test anyway and see what they can find. We’re scrambling for evidence, at the moment. This is the best we can do.” Yuuri sighed as he put his phone away. 

“We’ll just have to see what they find and try and work with what we’ve got.”

***

They pulled up to the crime scene about twenty minutes later. It was a secluded alleyway, now cordoned off by yellow and black crime scene tape. They got out of the car, instantly finding themselves drenched. The rain seemed particularly heavy, recently. As if their day was not already solemn enough, the skies were gloomy and grey too, as if mocking them. Victor’s coat blew in the wind as he ducked under the tape, holding it for Yuuri to climb under. Yuuri shivered as He buttoned up his--  _ Victor’s--  _ coat, following suit. 

“Detectives.” A  _ rather handsome  _ man, well polished in a slick suit approached them. “Special Agent Christophe Giacometti.” Christophe said, holding up his badge. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

“Detective Nikiforov and Detective Katsuki.” Victor greeted with a friendly smile. “Pleasure to meet you, too. What have we got?” Christophe gestured for them to follow him. 

“She’s naked, the clothes folded beside her. Everything else is the same though - another pose, more roses, one slice through the stomach…” He sighed, bagging the roses. 

“I just asked the crime lab to see if they can find out where the roses are from.” Yuuri said as he stood over the body. “Any witnesses?” Yuuri asked, to which Phichit shook his head. 

“None have come forward. We’re sweeping the area at the moment but so far, nothing. Literally no other evidence than what’s here. Not even a blood trail. She was killed right where she was lying. We have an ID, at least. Maybe we can find out what she was doing here.” Phichit murmured, brow creased with annoyance. 

“God, we’re getting nowhere!” Victor huffed out of frustration, teeth gritted as his brows knitted together. Yuuri had never seen him so… angered. Victor was always so charming and cheerful, always so bright and optimistic. This was new for Yuuri.

“Hey.” Yuuri interrupted, one hand squeezing Victor’s shoulder. “We’ll get it. We just have to comb through everything and put the pieces together.” Victor sighed, a shaky smile crossing his face before turning his attention back to the body. 

“So? Is this another statue too?” Asked Victor as Yuuri studied the pose with great concentration. 

“No… I’d have to look at one of my encyclopedias.” Yuuri murmured. “Maybe I can find out who our second victim is supposed to be posed as too?” 

“You keep encyclopedias?” Asked Victor, raising his brow curiously. “Moreover, can’t we just google and hope we find what statue they’re supposed to be?” 

“Sure do.” Yuuri proudly smiled. “I really like collecting them, so even if I’m not interested in the subject, I'll buy it anyway. I tend to collect ones mostly around art, history, literature, and science.” Victor chuckled in amusement. “We could google it, but encyclopedias arrange them by pose. So whether the arms are up or down, things like that. Did you know that on a horse statue, the number of legs in the indicates how the rider died?” Victor blinked at Yuuri’s seemingly random fact. 

“How do you…” 

“Encyclopedia.” Winked Yuuri with a cute smile that made Victor’s heart pulse in his chest.

“Well, now I know what to get you for your birthday.” He mused. “Come on, I’ll drive you back to pick up an encyclopedia and we can see if we can figure out who they’re meant to be.” Victor gestured for Yuuri to follow him. They hurried back to the car, climbing in. Yuuri shivered, teeth chattering as his breath condensed on the window of the car. “Hopefully we’ll warm up when we get back to the station.”

***

“You can come in, if you want.” Yuuri said as he got out of the car. “So you don’t have to sit out in the rain.” Victor blinked in surprise, then smiled. He got out of the car, locking the door as he followed Yuuri into his home. Victor looked around. He’d neer really been inside Yuuri’s home before, mainly just stood in the porch or in the hallway. 

“So… how many encyclopedias do you own?” Asked Victor as Yuuri led him to a bookshelf in the front room.” Yuuri shrugged. 

“You can count them, if you want.” He chuckled sweetly as his fingertip skimmed over the spine of each book, looking for the one he wanted. Victor paced, staring out of the glass door that lead to the garden. 

“You’re right about the roses,” he commented, “they’re looking scace.”

“Right? Maybe it’s the cold weather recently or something. Normally they’re lovely.” Yuuri said as he looked through his shelf. “Mmh… aha.” Yuuri plucked the encyclopedia from the shelf. “This one.  _ Sculptures and Sculptors: The World of Renaissance Art.”  _ Victor came back over. 

“This… is a thick book…” He grimaces. “You’re sure we can’t just google it?” Victor frowned as Yuuri led them back out of the house, locking the door. 

“How about this; you google it, I’ll use an encyclopedia. Let’s see what happens.” Grinned Yuuri as he climbed into the car.  __

“Sure.” Victor laughed. “Let’s see who turns up what.” 

***

As soon as they made it back to the station, Victor and Yuuri had hogged an entire conference room in hopes of finding something,  _ anything  _ out about the poses of their victims. They were both knee-deep in research, Yuuri buried in an encyclopedia and Victor with his iPad held right up to his face when Phichit walked in. 

“Wow...what happened here?” He asked, eyeing the mess of photographs scattered on the glass table. 

“We’re trying to find out something about the way these bodies are being posed, so if you don’t feel like reading, I suggest you bring coffee.” Victor chided as he looked up from his iPad. 

“Well, I was actually here to tell you that a report from the crime lab came in for you.” Victor put his iPad down as Phichit passed him the report. “Something about… nutrition?” 

“Composition of the nutrients in the roses.” Yuuri corrected. “We wanted to see if we could find out what kind of soil they were grown in, what kind of fertilisers, where they’re being grown and sold, stuff like that.” He explained, picking up his coffee to take a sip. “What does it say?” Victor frowned. 

“No known fertilisers. The soil is rich in nitrates and magnesium, but there isn’t much in terms of evidence that there’s a commercial fertiliser.” He huffed, closing the report. 

“What, so…”

“So that means they’re growing roses. Flowers sold in businesses are always grown in fertilisers under UV light to help them grow, it’s how they grow big roses in mass quantities during the winter for Valentines day.” Yuuri grumbled. 

“Great, so we’re back to square one.” Victor nodded stiffly. “Let’s just keep looking, we’ve gotta find something.”

“Might have just found something.” Yuuri said. “Pass me the photo of the woman we found the morning?” Victor sifted through the photographs and handed them to Yuuri. “This might be… Venus de Milo… but I can’t say for sure.” Yuuri mumbled. “She’s still got arms, but looking at the way the leg is positioned…” 

“Most dead people probably die in a pose similar to that, though.” Victor sighed. “She’s in such a generic pose that we can’t even rule out that this time he was just too lazy to pose her. Maybe he ran out of statues.” Yuuri snorted in amusement. 

“There’s a lot of statues in the world you know,” Yuuri chuckled, “I don’t think he’s running out anytime soon. I can’t say for sure she’s meant to be posed like Venus de Milo, because he’s in a pretty… normal pose… other than missing arms.” 

“Maybe Michaelangelo got lazy.” Phichit commented. 

“I’d say I agree, but this was sculpted by  _ Alexandros of Antioch.”  _ Yuuri informed, pointing to the sculpture in the encyclopedia. 

“Huh.” Phichit mused. “Well, maybe he got bored and decided not to give him arms.” 

“Hey-- that would explain why she’s aked.” Victor exclaimed as he sat up properly. “Venus de Milo is naked.” Yuuri nodded in agreement. “Christ the Redeemer, and Lady Liberty, who were victims one and three, are not.” Victor smiled brightly, as if he’d just had a revolutionary moment. “That would explain why this time, the killer stripped her clothes.” 

“But how does this help us?” Phichit asked rather cynically, to which Victor shrugged and slinked back into his seat. 

“I don’t know. It probably doesn’t. We still have very little evidence to go off.” 

“Maybe her clothes will turn up something - the crime lab has them at the moment.” Victor groaned, running his hand through his fringe. 

“I hope so.” He groaned. “I’m really sick and tired of not coming up with anything-- we don’t even know where to begin to look for a suspect.” 

———————————————————————

_ It was almost trance-like as he followed his next target through the streets, keeping close, but not too close. The streets were crowded, drunkards screaming and yelling outside of pubs, teenagers loitering around corners. Even in the dead of night, the city was still so lively. Street lamps flickered, pub door bells chimed, voices chattered. She kept walking, and he kept following. Eventually, all that noise-- the ruckus of the city-- faded to dust, and when it was finally clear enough, he struck.  _

_ His hand clamped over her mouth, silencing her screams. Ear piercing cries for mercy were muffled by his gloved palm as she wriggled, but one arm held her waist close, preventing her escape. She shrieked again, heart racing a million miles an hour, beating in her chest. Her breaths were quick and shallow as her hands clawed at his arm, trying to rip free from his hold. She was silenced, however, by the piercing pain in her stomach that quickly faded to black as the blade sliced through her body.  _

_ Her body fell limp to the ground. Carefully the killer knelt down. He stripped the body bare, delicately folding each article of clothing into a pile. He wiped down the body, blood gushing from the slit and pouring all over the grass. Then, carefully, he positioned the body. One arm was over her head, face turned and arm bent at the elbow to rest her hand on her hair, and the other was posed to her side, elbow bent and hand beside her face too.  _

_ Finally, the killer removed one earring, and placed a bouquet of yellow roses in her hand. _

———————————————————————

“Sorry I’m a bit late.” Yuuri sighed when he got to the police station. “For some reason my car was low on gas and I didn’t realise… must have forgotten to fill up the other day when I got home from work. But I don’t remember it being almost empty…” Yuuri sighed, brow cocked.

“Actually, you’re right on time. We just got a call for another body, I was just about to phone you.” Victor said, sliding his coat onto his body. 

“Oh, perfect.” Yuuri smiled. “You driving?” 

“Sure am. Let’s go. We’ll get coffee on the way back.” 

***

They climbed into the car and set off. 

“Ahh… I need to go food shopping after work today.” Yuuri sighed heavily. “With all the bodies turning up, I haven’t had time to go.” 

“I wanted to get mine delivered, but I’m never home to get the delivery. Maybe we can go together?” Yuuri felt his cheeks pink at the suggestion, heart fluttering in his chest. 

“O-oh. Okay, sure.” Yuuri swallowed thickly. “If you want… maybe we can meet at my place after too? I’ll cook dinner. That way we both get a hot meal and some company.” He suggested with a sweet smile, and obviously, Victor couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that - Yuuri cooking dinner for him?! He’d be a fool to refuse. 

“Yes! Yeah, sure. I’d like that.” Victor said, maybe a little bit too enthusiastically. 

“Then… let’s get our day's work done.” Yuuri’s encouraging smile was contagious-- and incredibly  _ adorable.  _ Victor smiled back, eyes flickering to Yuuri, and then back to the road. “The weather hasn’t improved at all.” Yuuri solemnly sighed.

“Nope. Still just as dark and stormy as the last week has been.” Victor huffed. “Honestly, it doesn’t make us feel any better about our jobs when the weather is like this.” Yuuri hummed in agreement. 

“It just puts another downer on an already sad day.” Yuuri sighed heavily. “Hey, at least our days are sad together though, right?” He chuckled softly. “I mean… at least we aren’t sad  _ and  _ lonely.” Victor’s heart lurched, stomach doing backflips at Yuuri’s admission. 

“Yeah.” Victor agreed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

They pulled up to the crime scene not long later, the scene already wrapped in crime scene tape that fluttered in the wind. Yuuri shuddered. 

“Cold?” 

“I never learn my lesson.” He laughed softly as Victor shucked off his coat again, draping it over Yuuri’s shoulders. 

“Seriously, I even leave you a coat in the car and you still end up cold.” He chastised teasingly. “I wonder whether it’s just because you want to wear my coat.” He said flirtily as a burst of pink coloured Yuuri’s cheeks-- and not from the cold. Yuuri nuzzled his nose into the collar of Victor’s coat, smiling softly to himself. “What have we got?” Victor asked as they approached Special Agent Giacometti.

“Another strange pose, roses, clothes are--”

“The Age of Bronze.” Yuuri murmured as he stared at the body. 

“The-- what?” 

“That pose.  _ The Age of Bronze  _ by Auguste Rodin.” He informed as he eyed the way the body was positioned. He knelt down, picking up the flowers from the body and bagging them, along with the clothes.

“How did you know that?” Asked Victor. 

“The other day, when I was going through the encyclopedia, I came across it.” Explained Yuuri. “And it was the pose, the way the face was positioned, as if turning away in disgust at something that made it stand out to me.” He said as the cameras from the CSI clicked in front of them. “She’s missing an earring too.”

“Our killer is taking them as trophies.” Sighed Victor. “Is there anything else?” Yuuri shook his head. 

“It doesn’t look like it. Everything else is the same.” Yuuri stood back up. 

“We have a meeting later with the Behavioural Analysis Unit, so hopefully that can help us in homing in on a suspect at least.” Victor mumbled tiredly. “So far, all we know is he’s tidy, yet… ruthless. He kills them with one clean slice, but it’s so… messy.” 

***

“We know that the unsub is organised.” Christophe said as a variety of crime scene photographs were projected onto the screen. “We can see by the way he’s folded the clothes on the last two victims, by the way he carefully positions the bodies, by the way he kills them with one clean cut.” 

“However,” another Special Agent-- Special Agent LeRoy, perhaps?-- began, “the stealing of only one earring, the inconsistency of folding the clothes, and attempting to clean the wound despite the fact that it is still bleeding, could also indicate sloppiness. The tendency to linger around the crime scene also indicates sloppines. But, that could be because the killer is so pedantic about how the body looks, that they completely disregard the fact that they could be seen. It could indicate being overly organised  _ and  _ being sloppy.” He flicked the side. 

“Detective Katsuki has deduced that the bodies are being positioned like statues. Christ the Redeemer, The Statue of Liberty, Venus de Milo, and The Age of Bronze are all famous statues. Combined with the bouquets of roses, and roses only, might indicate a finer appreciation for art.” Christophe pushed his glasses up before continuing. “The roses are all red, white, orange, and yellow, all of the same colour family. Granted, these are the most common colours, they are also colours used in floral paintings.  _ Flowers in a Glass Vase,  _ by John Constable,  _ Still Life with Irises,  _ by Van Gogh,  _ Vase with Twelve Sunflowers,  _ also by Van Gogh.” Christophe listed. “These warm tones are all very prominent in these pieces.”

“Art is something that can be a little messy, but also very neat. It suggests that maybe, the perpetrator is very much the same - neat in his work, but his surroundings are messy. There could be a conflict in personality.” Special Agent LeRoy suggested. “So far, most of the killings have occured at around three a.m in various places around the city. We haven’t deduced a pattern for the locations, it’s possible that there isn’t one, which again, symbolises a lack of organisation, to a certain extent. 

Victor’s brow creased in contemplation. How is it even possible to be all of those things at once? Organised, yet sloppy. Neat, yet messy. Barbaric, yet so immaculate in the way they work. It was baffling. Victor had never worked on a case like this - paradoxical, a dichotomy. 

***

“Hey, I’m heading off now, are you coming?” Yuuri asked, poking his head through Victor’s door. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m coming.” Quickly, Victor packed his things and grabbed his coat. “Where do you normally shop for groceries?” Asked Victor as he came out of his office. 

“Normally whatever is still open.” Yuuri chortled, following Victor out of the office and into the elevator. “Don’t get much choice, everything tends to be closed by the time I get out of work.”

“Sounds about right.” Victor chuckled bitterly as the elevator doors opened into the parking lot. “I’ll see you at Walmart?” 

“Sure. See you in a bit.”

***

Yuuri tried to reach for a tin of coconut milk on the top shelf, stretching as much as he could. His shirt rode up his body with the stretch, exposing his side, lean and tender, the skin milky and pale and  _ oh,  _ Victor wanted to pull him in. The younger man was terribly attractive, charming and cute, and ever so innocent. He made Victor’s heart throb with those little sneezes and sniffles when he was cold, the way he pushes his glasses up, the way he nibbled his pen when he was deep in thought. Everything about Yuuri was just  _ perfect.  _

“Can you help me grab this, please?” Yuuri asked, eyes pleading as his arm began to ache. “I can’t quite reach the tin.” But Victor was too busy dazing to hear. “Victor?”

“H-huh?” Victor quickly snapped out of his daze to see Yuuri gazing at him with those big, beautiful eyes. 

“I said, can you help me grab a tin of coconut milk? I can’t reach it.” Yuuri repeated, arm tiring as he gave up trying. 

“Oh, sure, lemme--” Yuuri stepped out of the way, and Victor easily managed to reach the tin. Yuuri’s cheeks tinted pink as Victor grabbed him a can. Victor was like his knight in shining armour. He always bought coffee in the mornings, he’d drive Yuuri to work if they got a call before their shift started, he’d always lend him his coat when he got cold… ahh… he was pretty amazing. “Just one?” Yuuri nodded. “Here you go.” 

“Thank you.” 

***

They met back at Yuuri’s house just half an hour later. 

“Do you need any help with dinner?” Asked Victor as he closed the front door, flicking the lock shut. 

“Ahh, yes please, you can help me cut some green onions and some regular onions.” Yuuri said as he kicked off his shoes. “Make yourself at home.” He smiled softly. Victor followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the kitchen island. His home was rather messy, books all over on the table, little trinkets and notions scattered about. Or maybe… messy wasn’t quite the right word.  _ Cluttered  _ was probably a better term. Not that Victor minded, but Yuuri’s work desk was so neat in comparison. But Victor supposed that their job did require them to be neat after all, otherwise they’d never solve anything. 

“You still haven’t told me what you’re cooking.” Victor chastised as Yuuri opened the fridge. 

“You’ll like it, I promise.” Yuuri crooned, pulling out four eggs. “It’s pork and egg over a bed of rice, with a sweet sauce. Katsudon” Yuuri said as he cracked the eggs. “My mom used to make it for me when I was younger. She said she’d normally make it if I was feeling particularly anxious, or having a bad day, something like that.” Yuuri explained as he beat the eggs. “Can you open the back door please? It’s getting a bit hot.” Asked Yuuri. “The key should be in a jar by the door.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Victor got up and went over to the backdoor, fumbling for the key in the jar. As soon as the back door opened, the garden lights flickered to life, illuminating the garden. “The garden looks beautiful lit up like this.” Victor commented with a smile. “I thought you said you weren’t the gardening type.” He smiled as he leaned against the door frame. 

“I’m not.” Yuuri clarified. “Sometimes I mow the lawn and that’s about it.” He chuckled sheepishly as he dipped the pork chops in egg. “The chopping board is in the cupboard, choose a knife from the block.” Victor nodded and went over to pick out a knife to join Yuuri. 

“Oh. Well, for someone who doesn’t garden, it looks great.” He complimented, picking up a chopping board and setting it down. “Hey-- you’re missing a knife you know.” Victor said as he picked up the second smallest knife to start on the green onions.

“Thanks. It’s probably just because it hasn’t grown out yet - the garden was newly done up when I bought the house last year, so it probably just hasn’t overgrown.” Yuuri explained. “I actually don’t know where that knife went, I swear I washed it a few weeks back and pu it away but I don’t know where it is.” Sighed Yuuri. “I probably just put it in the drawer by accident.” He couldn’t help but stare at Yuuri’s beautiful face, looking so serene as he breaded the pork.

“Oh. You haven’t found it?” Yuuri shook his head. 

“Well, I haven’t really tried looking for it.” He laughed. “It’ll be here somewhere, I’m sure. I don’t use it often anyway, so clearly I don’t miss it that much.” 

It didn’t occur to Victor until later that utensil missing from Yuuri’s kitchen might be problematic.

“We can sit in the garden for a bit before you go home, if you want? I get a really nice view of the stars from my patio, and it’s a clear night.” Yuuri suggested-- really, he just didn’t want Victor to go home. It was rare they spent time together out of work, especially this deep into a case, but it was kind of nice to have someone to spend the evening with. 

“Are you sure? I’m not keeping you awake, am I? It’s late.” Victor said. It was nice, having spent the evening with Yuuri over dinner, and to be quite frank, he didn’t really want to leave. With a job so heavy and taxing, it wasn’t often they had anything positive to look forward to at the end of the day. But this-- dinner with Yuuri-- that was said positive thing that Victor had looked forward to.

“It’s only half eight.” Yuuri smiled sweetly. “We hardly get time to relax during the day as it is. Go on, you head out first, I’ll make some tea.” When Yuuri was so insistent, Victor couldn’t refuse. 

“Jasmine, please.” 

“Got it.” With that, Victor stepped out into the garden. 

Curiosity got the best of him as he roamed around the garden to admire the rose bushes - Yuuri had said a while back that they weren’t growing as fast as they normally were, and true to his word, the rose bushes did look much less full and flourishing as they should. Victor knelt down to the plant, when he spotted something that in half an hour’s time, he’d wish he’d never seen.

The roses  _ were  _ growing.

They’d just been cut. 

Red, yellow, orange, pink, white… They were all perfectly healthy. But the flowers, for the most part, had been cut off by the stem. There was nothing wrong with Yuuri’s rose bush. 

“I bought tea.” Victor was pulled from his studying of the bush as he turned around to see Yuuri by the patio door, a tray with a teapot and some cups on it. “Jasmine, like you asked.” He crooned sweetly. Victor forced himself to push the rosebush to the back of his mind and join Yuuri. If Yuuri didn’t ask about it, Victor wasn’t going to say anything about it. 

“Thanks.” Victor smiled as he sat down at the table on the patio. Yuuri poured him a cup of tea before pouring his own. 

“I enjoyed this.” Yuuri admitted. Victor could see the soft dusting of pink that colored Yuuri’s cheeks, glowing under the moonlight as he hid his face behind his mug. Yuuri’s side profile was beautiful. It showed off his long, cow lashes and his cute button nose, and that faint fluster on his cheeks. Victor smiled contently, sipping at his tea. 

“I did too. Next time, it’s my turn to host dinner.” Yuuri laughed fondly at that.

“Alright,” he said, “I’ll hold you to it.” 

Victor forgot all about the rose bushes. 

“Ahh, I should probably go.” Victor sighed as he finished his tea. “It’s getting late, and we have an early start tomorrow.” He stood up and Yuuri took his cup. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Yeah, sure, up the stairs, it’s the first door you see.” Yuuri said as he followed Victor back into the house and closed the back door. 

“Thanks. I’ll be back in a second.” Victor quickly made his way up the stairs and to the bathroom. He opened the door. Hanging on the tiled wall beside the mirror, was a painting. More specifically, the  _ Vase with Twelve Sunflowers  _ painting. Yellow… red… orange… white… Victor suddenly got a very, very sick feeling in his stomach. 

The missing kitchen knife, the extensive knowledge of statues, the appreciation for renaissance art, the missing roses… Victor soon found he didn’t need to use the toilet anymore. Against his better judgement, he opened the bathroom cabinet under the sink. It looked normal, at first glance, until Victor noticed a small box. He shouldn’t open it. He shouldn’t. He didn’t want to think the man he’s worked with for years, the man who’s been his best friend for years, the man he’s starting to fall in love with-- could be capable of  _ murder.  _

But you know what they say about curiosity, and what it did to the cat. 

Victor opened the box. 

Odd earrings, rings, even a bangle… The earrings… he recognised those… because the other half was in the pictures of the case file. Victor slammed the lid closed and put the box back. He had to pretend he hadn’t seen anything. Victor took a moment to pull himself together. 

For some reason, even now, knowing what Yuuri might be capable of, it didn’t make Victor see him any differently. He was still that same soft, innocent, beautiful man in Victor’s eyes. His heat squeezed at the thought of Yuuri. But now, Victor needed to know for sure. He came back down the stairs to see Yuuri had helped him take his groceries out of the fridge and put them by the door. 

“I didn’t want you to leave without these.” He chuckled softly as he picked up Victor’s coat from the hook and passed it to him.  _ Yes. He was still the same Yuuri. _

Thank you.” Victor gratefully smiled as he took his coat and slid his shoes on. “So...see you tomorrow?” Yuuri nodded. “I’ll phone if I’m gonna pick you up, like normal.” 

“Okay.” Yuuri opened the door. “Drive safely.”

“I will. Have a nice night, Yuuri.” 

“You too.” Yuuri stood by the front door and watched as Victor loaded his groceries into the car. Victor waved, climbing into his car, and Yuuri stayed, watching until Victor finally drove off before retreating.

***

Every two days. That was how often another body would turn up. That would mean tomorrow evening, there’d be another body. Victor had to know if his worst suspicions held any truth to them. 

There was no way, right?

Yuuri couldn’t even kill a spider. He’d always trap them in a cup and take it outside, let it out. Yuuri couldn’t even kill an insect, let alone a person.  _ People.  _ But Victor had to get rid of that sick feeling in his stomach. 

———————————————————————

Victor found himself camped outside of Yuuri’s home in the car the next evening. Yuuri never left his house after dark. He was very much a homebody - he didn’t go out for nights out, or when their colleagues went for a meal and a drink after closing a case, Yuuri never joined them. So Victor hoped to god that another body  _ would  _ turn up, but he could be sure Yuuri had nothing to do with it. He couldn’t. Victor refused to believe it. 

Victor’s heart skipped a beat, then sank when Yuuri’s front door suddenly opened. Yuuri stepped out, closing the door behind him. But he looked… different. His hair was tidy, slicked back with gel. He looked more… confident. Victor watched as he got into his car.

_ “For some reason my car was low on gas and I didn’t realise… must have forgotten to fill up the other day when I got home from work. But I don’t remember it being almost empty…”  _

As soon as Yuuri pulled out of his driveway, Victor followed him, that sinking feeling in his stomach getting deeper, and deeper, and deeper. He practically held his breath as Yuuri went down the highway, making sure to keep some distance between them. 

Yuuri parked his car on a side street. Victor parked around the corner and got out, watching as Yuuri locked his car door. What was he doing here? Going to a pub? Victor just hoped Yuuri was going to get a drink or something. He watched with bated breath as Yuuri stalked down the street, and he followed.

Yuuri just walked. 

He walked… and walked… and walked… 

And then Victor noticed.

He was following someone. 

Victor continued to tail them. His whole body was trembling with nerves, shivering with the cold. A trembling breath escaped his lips, condensing in the air as he continued to follow him. God, there was no way, there was no way, there was  _ no way! _

But then Yuuri grabbed her. Victor watched as Yuuri literally grabbed her. She was squirming and struggling and trying to scream. Victor’s blood ran cold. He was  _ mortified.  _ He should stop him. He should stop Yuuri, but he couldn’t move. All Victor could do was watch. Victor almost vomited when her cries for help suddenly ceased. He stared as blood spewed from her stomach, her body falling limp. 

He was wrong. 

Yuuri  _ was  _ capable of killing people. And he had. 

Victor almost wanted to cry as he watched Yuuri strip her clothes and clean the wound. He watched as he posed the body, took an earring, and folded her clothes. And lastly, a bouquet of roses-- which Victor knew were from his garden, were put in his hands. Victor didn’t know what to do as he watched Yuuri leave. He should have phoned the police. He should have stopped him. 

But Victor found himself wanting to protect Yuuri at all costs. How did he turn up to work, acting as if nothing had happened? How did he bury his face in an encyclopedia, picking out statues, putting together the puzzle pieces as if he hadn’t slain every body in the photographs? And then it hit him.

_ “This morning I woke up damp-- I must have really been sweating. I need to get the heating looked at.”  _

Maybe Yuuri didn’t realise. 

His car having no fuel, waking up damp, the roses that he thought were dying, the missing kitchen knife… Now, with that possibility, Victor had to protect him. He rushed over to the body. His hands quivered as tears streamed down his face but he had to do this for Yuuri. He grabbed the clothes and the roses, he took the other earring, and then he ran back to his car, climbing in and slamming the door shut. 

His shaking hands tossed the bag of evidence on the passenger seat and Victor just… broke down in tears. Victor could feel bile coming up his throat. In fact, he almost vomited at what he’d just seen. Victor choked on a sob, tears streaming down his face as he hit his head against the steering wheel. How had he not figured this out sooner? How had Yuuri hidden this so well? Victor had to get out of there now, before anyone saw him. He sucked in a deep, quivering breath, pulling himself together, and he started the car. 

The drive home was like a trance. It was amazing he’d even made it home without causing an accident. Victor couldn’t mention this to anyone, to  _ Yuuri.  _ All Victor could do was try his best to keep Yuuri safe. 

The first thing Victor did when he got home was throw everything into the fire place. God, he should have just left. In fact, he never should have followed Yuuri out there at all. Yuuri had gotten away with this for so long, Victor could have just left this all alone and stayed naive. Victor watched as the roses wilted, consumed by flames. Victor didn’t know if he could live with what he’d just witnessed. But he had to. He had to keep this secret for Yuuri’s sake. 

———————————————————————

“Victor?” Called Yuuri as they sat in the car on the way to the crime scene. Victor felt exceptionally sick today. He couldn’t look Yuuri in the eye at all. “Victor?” Yuuri called again. “Victor, are you alright?” He asked. “You’ve barely spoken two words to me.” Yuuri frowned, brow creased with worry. “Did I do something to upset you?” Victor’s heart thumped in his chest, breath catching in his throat. 

“No.” Murmured Victor. “No, it’s…”  _ I watched you kill someone.  _ “It’s nothing.” Victor gave a wobbly smile as he focussed on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel. “We’re here.” He mumbled, pulling up to the street where… Victor let out a shaky sigh and got out of the car. It was much less rainy today, at least, but still absolutely freezing, the chill biting Yuuri’s bones as he got out of the car. He shivered, and quickly followed Victor. 

He was acting different. Normally, Victor would ask if he was cold. He’d give Yuuri his coat, and make a comment on how Yuuri should have brought a coat, and that he never learns from his mistakes. But Victor just ignored him. Yuuri’s heart fell heavy in his chest. Maybe Victor didn’t enjoy the evening they spent together a couple of days ago as much as Yuuri had, or as much Yuuri thought Victor had.

“Victor, Yuuri.” Phichit sighed as he came up to them. “You should see this.” 

“Why? What is it?” Queried Yuuri. 

“We got a change of MO.” Phichit led them over to where the body lay on the ground. Victor almost felt sick all over again, as memories of the previous night flashed up in his head. He just couldn’t believe that the person he’d seen last night was the same doe-eyed, charming young man next to it. He couldn’t believe it. But it was. 

***

Victor didn’t say a word as they got back in the car. 

“Victor.” Yuuri called as he strapped in. 

“Yes?” 

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked with a soft frown as he bit the inside of his cheek. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me like the plague.” Yuuri murmured under his breath, turning his head to lean against the window. 

“I haven’t.” Mumbled Victor. “I’m not.” But Yuuri wasn’t convinced. Instead of pressing, he chose to keep to himself. He didn’t spark any conversation like he usually would, he just stared out of the window in silence, until they arrived back at the station.

———————————————————————

Victor followed Yuuri. Every other night, he’d follow Yuuri. He’d watch as he preyed on another victim, he’d watch as Yuuri slaughtered his victim, posing their body, folding their clothes, planting a bouquet of roses in their hands. He’d watch Yuuri leave, and then he’d get out of his car. Victor would bag the roses, bag the clothes, and the left over earring. He’d take as much evidence as he could from the scene, and when he got home, he’d toss it all in the fireplace. Then, he’d cry. Cry about just how  _ fucked up  _ all of this is. How he went from a detective working on a serial murder case to an accomplice in said case. How his moral boundaries had greyed so much because of how strongly he felt for Yuuri. 

Part of him wondered that if this were anyone else, would he have done the same? But Victor answered that pretty quick; he’d only do something like this for Yuuri. He’d only clean up a murder scene and destroy evidence for Yuuri. 

Victor would keep turning up to work. He’d keep trying to act like everything was okay. He tried his best to get back to his usual, chirpy self in front of Yuuri, he’d try to just keep working on the case. 

But it plagued him.

How was Yuuri acting like nothing had happened? 

Victor got his answer just three nights later. 

***

_ “AAAARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”  _

Yuuri let out a blood-curdling shriek at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face as he stared in horror at his hands, absolutely covered in blood. Yuuri didn’t know what to do. Blood was drying on his trembling hands, dripping down his arms. The tap was running as trails of red and pink swirled down the drain, yet all Yuuri could do was stare in terror. His breaths were short and quick, heart pounding in his chest, blood rushing through his ears as he scrambled desperately to wash his hands, scrubbing and scrubbing at the stains. 

How had this happened? 

Yuuri had gone to bed that night, just before eleven, as he always did. He’d wake up at eight a.m, or whenever Victor phoned, whichever came first. But today, for some reason, he’d woken up just past four in the morning. In his bathroom.  _ Covered in blood.  _ Yuuri raced out of the bathroom. He didn’t even turn off the tap or dry his hands. He fumbled on the nightstand, trembling hands struggling to unlock his phone. 

“Come on, come on, come  _ on _ !” Yuuri cried, almost dropping his phone as he tried to unlock it. Yuuri let out a quivering sigh of relief as he pulled up his contact to phone the only person he could trust-- Victor.

He hesitated, however. Victor had seemed so distant recently and Yuuri, for the life of him, could not figure out why. Maybe it was something he'd done or said but every time he asked, Victor just dismissed him. It was  _ soul crushing.  _ But Yuuri had no one else to turn to. Without giving himself another second to doubt, Yuuri phoned. 

***

Victor watched as the bag of clothes and roses burned in the fireplace. This time, it was a young woman, short and blond, who had fallen victim at Yuuri’s hands. Victor still hadn’t managed to process any of this at all. He still couldn’t understand why this was happening or  _ how.  _ He felt awful for the cold shoulder he’d given Yuuri recently but god, he just… couldn’t help it. He couldn’t have a normal conversation with him without seeing images of every victim Yuuri has ever slaughtered pop up in his head. 

He bit his lip, fighting back tears of frustration as he stood by the fireplace. Keeping this ordeal silent was soul sucking. It was taking so much of Victor’s energy to pretend he didn’t know anything, to act like his best friend-- the man he had fallen in love with-- was not a serial murderer with a body count higher than he could count on his fingers. It was  _ exhausting.  _

Victor’s phone began to ring, almost making him jump out of his skin. Who the hell was phoning at four a.m?! With a heavy sigh, he picked up his phone. 

_ It was Yuuri.  _

“Yuuri? What’s--”

_ “I n-need help… V-Victor… I think I did something bad. I'm not sure what but I woke up and I’m c-covered in blood and I don’t know what to do!”  _ Victor gasped in surprise at the call. Had Yuuri really had no idea? His voice was absolutely frantic, he could hear the sniffles and the tears and the sheer panic in his voice. Victor was out the door before Yuuri had even finished rambling. 

“I’m coming, Yuuri. Stay on the line, okay? I’m on my way.” All of Victor’s prior worries had to be quashed and forgotten about. Yuuri needed him, and that overwhelming need to protect him was back, even if Victor himself was scared too, he had to keep it together for Yuuri. 

_ “H-help me, please…”  _ Victor had never made it out of the house and into his car so fast. Adrenaline coursed through his body as he drove, speeding through traffic lights and stop signs as Yuuri’s frightful voice came through the line. 

“I’ll be there in a second, Yuuri, hang tight for me, okay?” 

_ “I’m s-so scared…”  _

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay. I’m almost there.” Victor’s heart galloped in his chest, anxiety setting his nerves alight as he drove. Yuuri was crying down the phone, Victor couldn’t stop himself from shaking. He just wanted to make all of Yuuri’s problems go away. 

Victor pulled up outside Yuuri’s house just five minutes later. 

“Yuuri, I’m outside, come and open the door for me?” Yuuri’s sobs had been reduced to sniffles. Victor stood on the porch, nervously waiting for Yuuri to open the door. Victor cut the call when Yuuri opened the door. God, he looked an absolute mess - his face was red and puffy and tearstained, hair disheveled and t-shirt crumpled. As soon as Victor closed the door, Yuuri collapsed in front of him, hands shamefully covering his face as he cried. Victor knelt down to him, wrapping his arms around his crying form. 

“Tell me what happened.” Victor asked softly. 

“I don’t know…!” Yuuri sobbed. “I-- I was asleep, i went to bed like i normally do but suddenly i woke up and i was in the bathroom and there was blood everywhere it was horrible!” Yuuri babbled. “M-my hands were covered in blood and my sink was too and I don’t know why or how, I’m so scared.” Yuuri cried into Victor’s shoulder. Victor’s heart broke. Yuuri really had no idea what he’d done. 

“How long has this been going on for?” Yuuri shook his head. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I did or if I did anything--  _ god,  _ what if I hurt someone?!” Yuuri sniffled, choking on another sob. Victor sighed pitifully. Oh, Yuuri… 

“Come on, let’s get you upstairs to bed.” Victor helped Yuuri stand. He was shaking like a baby deer as Victor held him up and led him up the stairs and to his room. “Lie down.” He instructed as Yuuri sat down on the bed. Victor pulled the covers up. “Would you like me to stay with you?” Timidly, Yuuri nodded. 

“Please.” It came out as a mere squeak. Victor had never seen Yuuri so… vulnerable, so small before. 

“Alright. I’ll be sitting on the other side of the bed if you need me, okay?” Victor circled the bed and climbed onto the mattress, back leaned against the headboard. Shyly, Yuuri shuffled closer to him, closing his eyes. How could Yuuri possibly be a serial murderer? Victor just couldn’t see it, even though he so clearly witnessed it with his own two eyes. It was like they were two separate people.

Maybe they were. 

Yuuri was too scared to sleep.

“Victor?” No response. “Victor, are you awake?” Victor grumbled, his hand reaching out to Yuuri. 

“Kind of.” He chuckled tiredly. 

“Sorry.” Yuuri squeaked. 

“It’s okay. Try and get some rest.” Victor said quietly. “I’ll phone in tomorrow, there’s no way you can work like this.” 

“Victor?” 

“Hmm?”

“D-do you think…” Yuuri nervously swallowed. “Why was there blood on my hands?” He asked, breath hitching in his throat as his voice came out a mere squeak. “D-Did I hurt someone?” Victor didn’t even know how to answer that. It really seemed like Yuuri knew nothing about the killings. When Yuuri was so distraught over the events of the evening, Victor figured it would be best to just keep to himself. 

“Don’t think about that right now, okay? Get some sleep.” Yuuri tiredly nodded as Victor carded his fingers through his hair, keeping an eye on him. Seeing this other side of Yuuri, the one that was so vulnerable, so scared and fragile made Victor feel even worse about how dismissive he’d been recently. 

———————————————————————

The killings stopped. At least, for a while. Maybe that night Yuuri found himself covered in blood triggered something, or maybe he just… stopped. Whatever the reason, Victor was thankful. But he noticed something else, too. Every day that went by, Yuuri looked worse and worse. 

“Yuuri, are you alright?” Victor asked when he came into work. Stiffly, Yuuri shook his head. With a soft sigh, Victor led him into his office. “You look like you haven’t slept in about a week.” He scolded as Yuuri sat down. 

“I haven’t.” Yuuri murmured, nibbling on his bottom lip. “I’m too scared to sleep.” Yuuri was literally terrified to fall asleep, in fear of waking up covered in more blood. Victor gave a pitiful sigh. “I’m too scared to wake up again and--  _ god,  _ I don’t even know whether I was hallucinating or whether I actually…” Yuuri let out a shaky sigh. He was on the verge of tears as he sniffled, and Victor pulled him a tissue to dab his eyes dry. “What if something’s wrong with me?” 

“I’ll come over tonight, how about that?” Yuuri looked up at Victor, eyes big and pleading at the suggestion. “That way, you’ll be able to sleep better, right?” Timidly, Yuuri nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He bitterly scoffed. “You shouldn’t have to baby sit me.” 

“Don’t say that.” Victor reassuringly smiled. “I’ll come home with you after work, or you can come home with me if you wanna change of scenery.” Suggested Victor. “I’ll cook. I owe you that, don’t I?” Victor winked, pulling a soft tinge of pink to Yuuri’s cheeks, followed by a smile. 

“Thank you.”

“Come on.” Victor softly smiled. “We have a meeting to get to.” Victor led Yuuri out of his office and into the conference room, where Special Agent Giacometti was waiting. They sat down at the front, as they normally did. Victor glanced over to Yuuri, who was looking so fatigued, so exhausted. How had Yuuri become like this? Victor had so many questions that he didn’t have answers for, and he didn’t even know where to begin with finding answers. 

This secret he was keeping was eating him up inside. He wasn’t just keeping this from  _ literally  _ everyone, he was even keeping it from Yuuri, who, for whatever reason, seemed to have no idea what was happening at all. Yuuri was distraught when he phoned Victor about the blood on his hands that evening, and it became obvious that night that Yuuri really had no control over what he was doing. Or if he did, he had no memory of it. 

“We’ve seen a significant change in these murders.” Special Agent Giacometti began. “The unsub started out leaving the clothes on, and then taking them off. Now, however, the clothes have been completely removed from the scene, as have the roses. We can assume these last few murders have been done by the same person, judging by the time of death, as well as the positioning of the bodies.” He said. 

“But we don’t know where’s a sudden change in MO. The killer, at first, was organised in the way they killed, but now, things are changing.” Victor’s heart pounded in his chest as his hands clenched into fists. His heart was beating up his throat, fear rising in his body. God, it would be so easy for them to get caught, and the worst part about that was Yuuri would not know  _ why,  _ either. 

Victor gritted his teeth, stress radiating off his whole body as he thought of every possible outcome to this terrible ordeal. 

***

That evening, Victor went home with Yuuri. He cooked for him and cleaned, before helping Yuuri into bed. 

“Would you like me to stay here?” Yuuri nodded. 

“Sorry. I hate for you to see me like this.” Murmured Yuuri as Victor moved to sit on the other side of the bed. 

“It’s okay. Just go to sleep.” His hand reached ro brush through Yuuri’s hair, sweeping his fringe back. Yuuri struggled to close his eyes, but with the soft, comforting feeling of Victor beside him, he quickly found himself fast asleep, a week of fatigue having caught up to him. Victor sighed heavily. God, how was Yuuri going to live with himself once he found out?

Victor didn’t have to wait long to find out. 

Out of the blue, Yuuri rose from the bed. Victor had fallen asleep beside him, leaned against the headboard, but the creak of the bed had awoken him. 

“Yuuri? What are you doing?” Yuuri turned around. 

“Oh. Victor. Why are you here?” he asked, tone monotonous, bored, almost. 

“Why am I--” Victor’s brow creased. Yuuri had a different aura to him. One that was more solemn, more stoic than Victor was used to seeing. Yuuri swept one hand through his hair, pushing his fringe back as he reached for his glasses. Yuuri Katsuki was truly a dichotomy - Victor couldn’t figure out for the life of him what was going on. Every movement was so robotic. Like a well practiced routine. Like a machine programmed to repeat the same routine at the same time. Whatever was going on with Yuuri was much worse than Victor had first imagined. 

And then it hit him. 

He was so much different now than he normally was. Much less emotive, much less sensitive and aware. The way his hair was swept back, the way his movements lacked the grace they normally had. The way Yuuri had no recollection of that evening when he phoned Victor. The way the killings stopped as soon as Yuuri stopped sleeping. Like two different people.  _ Like two different people.  _

They were two different people. 

_ “I’m so tired. No matter how much sleep I get I’m still so tired.”  _

_ They are two different people.  _

Victor hurried to follow Yuuri. This time, Yuuri had to know what was going on.

***

Victor had tailed him into a secluded part of town and watched as he parked the car and got out. He chased Yuuri through the rain, water kicking up beneath his feet as he followed, and no matter how many times he’d watched Yuuri snatch a young woman off the street, no matter how many times he’d cleaned up after Yuuri, disposed of evidence for him, it still made him so sick to his stomach. This time was no different. If anything, this was even worse. 

“Yuuri!” Victor called as the woman writhed in his grip, desperately clawing at Yuuri’s arms, begging behind his hand for mercy. “Yuuri!” He shouted again, but Yuuri either couldn’t hear him, or he was ignoring him. Victor’s eyes went wide with horror as Yuuri plunged the blade right into her stomach, slicing right through.  _ “Yuuri!”  _ Victor yelled again as he got closer, and this time, Yuuri heard. He turned around, and as soon as he saw Victor, it was like a switch had flipped. 

Those hazel eyes, once soulless and dull began to glisten again. They stared into the distance at Victor as he raced over, eyes blown wide with fear as his whole body trembled. Yuuri looked down at his hands, stained with fresh blood. Yuuri screamed, the knife falling from his hands and clattering to the ground. His legs buckled, body collapsing as he knelt on the floor, his whole body riddled with dread as Victor knelt down in front of him.

_ “What have I done?”  _ The Yuuri Victor knew best, the one that was soft and sensitive and caring, had returned. Yuuri’s voice was a mere whisper, unsteady and quivering as he gritted his teeth. His mind was racing as he stared at his trembling hands, mortified at the streaks of blood dripping from his fingertips. Victor’s arms curled around his shaking body. “What did I do, what did I do, what did I  _ do?!”  _ Yuuri shrieked as his hands dug into Victor’s shoulder blades, face buried in his neck as he sobbed.

Victor hushed in his ear, his hand running up and down Yuuri’s back. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” Yuuri was hysterical, he couldn’t even stand up. 

“What did I do…!” Yuuri couldn’t stop crying. Victor’s heart broke as he cradled Yuuri in his arms, the dead body beside them quickly forgotten about as Yuuri tried to come to grips with what had just happened, and what had been happening for weeks. When Yuuri slept, a whole new person came to life. He became a cold blooded murderer. Yuuri would take his victims, end their lives, and then clean up before the other side of him even knew what was going on. 

“Come on, we have to get out of here. Can you stand for me?” Victor’s voice was so soothing and calm amongst the hysteria racing through Yuuri’s mind. Victor stood up, pulling Yuuri up with him. He shucked off his coat and picked up the knife from the ground, burying it in the thick wool. “Let’s get you home.”

***

Victor brought Yuuri back to his house. 

“I need to go back and get my car. You gonna be okay for a little while?” Yuuri stiffly nodded, a mug of tea cradled between his hands as he sat on Victor’s bed. Stiffly, he nodded. 

“Victor?” 

“Yes?” 

“Did you know about this?” Yuuri asked nervously. “About me?” 

“We’ll talk about it when I get home, okay?” Victor leaned down, pressing a kiss to Yuuri’s forehead. Yuuri’s breath caught in his throat, a blush rising to his cheeks as Victor’s hand swept through his hair. “Once you’re ready, take a shower. I left some clothes on the counter for you. I’ll be back soon.” Victor gently caressed his face before pulling back. With that, he left the bedroom to head back out. 

Yuuri was… lifeless. His body was on autopilot mode as he put his empty mug down on the bedside table and pushed the blanket from his shoulders. 

He stripped, tossing his clothes straight into the bin and got into the shower, turning the water as hot as it would go. The water scalded his skin, leaving the once pale flesh pink and tender. Yuuri sat down on the shower floor, knees tucked to his chest and completely broke down. He cried, skin tingling with shame and disgust as his nails dug into his arms, clawing at his flesh. Yuuri choked on a sob. He was a  _ monster  _ and he didn’t even know it until tonight. How could he let this happen? What was wrong with him? 

Yuuri scrubbed furiously at his arms, trying to wash away the blood staining them, but no matter how hard he tried, the blood just didn’t seem to disappear. His heart raced as he choked on a sob, desperately scrubbing and scrubbing at his arms until his skin was raw and red. But Yuuri could still see it. Now that he knew, he could never  _ un _ see it. Yuuri threw the bath sponge against the shower screen in frustration, angry tears rolling down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth. 

When the water began to run cold and his skin began to prune, Yuuri finally got out of the shower.

He had just gotten dressed, the scent of Victor enveloping his body as he slid the clean clothes on. Yuuri buried his nose in the neckline of the t-shirt as he crawled back onto the bed, covering himself with the blanket. Victor returned shortly after. Yuuri heard the front door open, then close again. Footsteps hastily came up the stairs, and Victor came into the bedroom. As soon as he sat down on the other side of the bed, Yuuri turned onto his side, shuffling closer. 

“Did you know about this?” Yuuri asked again from beneath the blankets. A shaky sigh fell from Victor’s lips. 

“I did.” Victor mumbled. Yuuri clenched his fists in the sheets, breath hitching as he bit his lip and cried. “I suspected it after that evening we had dinner together.” Victor said. “I noticed some things. They were just normal things, a little out of place at first, but then I put it together.” Explained Victor. “Your roses, the missing knife from the block, the paintings, the statues… but it wasn’t just that.” Yuuri wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear anymore, but he had to. He needed to know. “It occurred to me that maybe you didn’t know.” Victor said. “You said you were always tired,that you didn’t remember your car running out of gas, things like that. I followed you on a whim one night and that’s how I found out for sure.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yuuri whimpered as Victor peeled back the blanket to reveal Yuuri’s tear stained face. Victor’s hand gently cupped his face. 

“How could I?” Victor bitterly chuckled. “My partner, my best friend turned out to be a serial murderer. And I was falling in love with him.” Yuuri felt his heart jump and his throat close up. “Instead of saying anything, I followed you. I waited for you to leave the house and then I followed you out. I watched, and no matter how sick it made me feel I waited until you left.” Victor bit his lip, a shuddery sigh escaping his lips.

“I got rid of the clothes, the jewellery, the odd earring. I made sure nothing could ever tie you back to there.” Explained Victor as Yuuri reached for his hand. 

“Why would you do that for me?” Yuuri’s voice was a mere whisper, so frail and vulnerable as he tried to fight back more tears. Victor’s heart cracked a thousand times over.

“I wanted to protect you more than anything. I didn’t care about what you had done. It didn’t make me love you any less. I wanted to keep you safe.” Victor slid down the bed, shuffling closer to Yuuri, their faces almost touching. 

“I’m scared.” Yuuri squeaked as Victor pulled him in by his waist, holding him close.

“Let me protect you.” Victor said. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” Yuuri didn’t have the energy to protest as Victor’s hands ran comfortingly up and down his sides. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” Yuuri’s arms wound tight around Victor’s waist, finding comfort in his presence amongst the chaos. 

“I’m sorry.” Yuuri whispered softly. “You shouldn't have to do this for me.” Victor pulled back a little so he could see Yuuri’s face. 

“Yuuri,” he said as one hand cupped Yuuri’s face, his thumb brushing his cheek, “it’s going to be okay.” Victor leaned in, forehead gently knocking against Yuuri’s. “Do you trust me?” Yuuri didn’t even have to think about that. He nodded, to which Victor sweetly smiled. “I love you.” Yuuri’s heart throbbed as he bit his lip, tucking in closer to Victor’s chest. They were quiet for a moment before Yuuri spoke again. 

“I love you, too.” Yuuri mumbled quietly into Victor’s chest. Victor’s heart lurched, breath catching in his throat as his arms tightened around Yuuri’s waist. Yuuri waited with bated breath for a reaction. Victor pulled back, two fingers hooking under Yuuri’s chin to guide his face up. 

Soft, smooth lips landed against Yuuri’s own. Yuuri let out a soft squeak of surprise, shaky hands gripping Victor’s shirt as he began to kiss back. Oh, it was so sweet. Yuuri felt elated as Victor kissed him, soft, yet firm and  _ god,  _ was it the most beautiful feeling in the world. Yuuri felt tears well in his eyes and stream down his face as Victor pulled back for a breath. 

“How could you still love a monster like me?” Yuuri asked timidly, biting his lip as he stared down at Victor’s chest. 

“Because you’re not a monster.” Cooed Victor, but Yuuri didn’t believe it. “Nothing you could ever do will change how I feel about you.” Victor reassured with a comforting smile. “I love all of you. And that includes the part you’re the most scared of.”

“I don’t know if I can live with this.” Yuuri sniffled as Victor’s fingertips trickled up and down his back. 

“I’m here with you, Yuuri. You're not alone anymore.” And for the first time since that night he’d phoned Victor covered in blood, Yuuri felt safe, blanketed in Victor’s presence. 

“Don’t leave me.” Whispered Yuuri as he bit his lip, arms clenching around Victor’s back.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Promised Victor. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this chapter please leave me a comment, it would mean the world to me 😩💖
> 
> Don’t forget to follow me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/CarnivalMirai) where I also post teasers and announcements!


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